that i have kept for sentimental reasons. it was my first (and only!) guitar. i bought it when i was 21 or 22 from my friend’s older brother for $50. it was just sitting in the back of his closet, and i was desperate to get my hands on my very own.
my dad played guitar while i was growing up - we would have real-live hootenannies at our house - a room full of folks playing folk songs, singing fun and impromptu harmonies. i was mesmerized by the fact that so many people knew the words to all the same songs.
i played my guitar quite a bit through the college years, even building calluses at one point.
but the guitar has been collecting dust in my house for about a decade. i don’t play it because the strings break every time i touch it, and it seems to have a warped neck, making it difficult to keep it in tune, and not much fun to play.
i realize i am holding on to it for sentimental reasons, and because it’s pretty. BUT, i can’t help but think i would actually play a guitar if i had one that was fun to play…i just can’t see owning two guitars.
i guess the question is; does anyone want a free guitar that may not be the best sounding instrument, but has been well loved and is awfully pretty to look at?
“an artist has got to be careful never to really arrive at a place where he thinks he’s at somewhere. You always have to realize that you’re constantly in a state of becoming. As long as you can stay in that realm, you’ll sort of be alright.”—bob dylan
Leave the Jury Alone: They don't decide on gut feelings
A jury doesn’t have access to the media, only what the attorneys present and the judge allows. it’s a delicate system. It’s always easy to judge a jury when we, the public, have access to the - often slanted and sensationalizing - news - they do not!
I was part of a jury for a criminal trial that put a man - a father - in jail, and it was the most difficult process, and a decision not one of us took lightly. As the judge explained very clearly, gut feelings are NOT allowed in decision making, only understanding the evidence presented and trusting and understanding the judge’s interpretation of the law. And if there is a window of doubt, there’s room for acquittal.
And trust me, the language of the law is incredibly complex and difficult for the lay person to understand - that’s why it’s the judge’s job to interpret the law, not the jury’s. It’s the prosecution’s job to prove beyond reasonable doubt, and the defense’s job to create the room for doubt.
It seems CA’s family worked together to create confusion in the courtroom, and therefore, they created room for doubt.
Unless you are on the jury, reviewing the evidence, sequestered from the public (especially overnight) and from your life, you can’t possibly know how seriously they are taking their job. There is no half-hearted decision in the jury room.
Also, a word on jury duty - if you’ve never participated in jury duty, do yourself a favor - participate if you have the opportunity. It’s a civil right and duty to participate in our judicial system - that’s how it works, we as Americans participate. I watched people create lies and BS stories to get out of it, and it was a shameful display of narcissism.
I have been thinking a lot about how women throw each other under the bus/semi truck/on-coming freight train.
One of my favorite Buddhist scholars, Shin Yatomi, wrote “Arrogance results from our inclination to judge our self-worth by comparison with others. Genuinely confident people, on the other hand, are aware of their intrinsic personal strength or merit.”
I think our lack of confidence makes us feel like the only way we can succeed is by comparing ourselves to other women, and our arrogance wants us to rank ourselves in comparison to them. And the result is destructive behavior.
I’m a reality show junkie, and it makes me physically ill (so ill, I just have to keep watching) to see women displaying what I would call VERY NORMAL social behavior with other women, just on a more fabulous scale. Saying one thing to her face, and another to someone else or the camera. Picking loyalties, and defying common sense in order to prove that loyalty. The inability to recognize our own role in the drama unfolding around us. It’s also interesting to watch how drugs and alcohol feed into this behavior - using intoxication both as an excuse to behave horribly, and as an excuse for last night’s horrible behavior.
If we rank ourselves below another (she’s prettier! she’s smarter! she’s richer! she’s more successful!) then we might stoop to some pretty low lows to feel superior. If we rank ourselves above another (I’ve worked harder! I’m more talented! I’m thinner!) we feel entitled to reckless, hurtful behavior.
Shin Yatomi also wrote “If we wish to improve our circumstances at work, we need to understand that we must not rely too much on judging our own self-worth by comparison with others. This leads to either arrogance or self-disparagement and lessens our ability to be aware of our own innate positive qualities and the need to actively cultivate them.”
Take something as simple as gossip - this includes saying ANYTHING about ANYONE that is unkind, whether it will get back to them or not. Do not underestimate the destructive power of gossip:
1) Do you find yourself talking about another woman, insulting her looks/talent/personality etc?
2) Do you find yourself plotting how you can better her in social, romantic or professional situations?
3) Do you find yourself taking satisfaction from feeling superior to her, especially when she’s not around?
When you are judging her work/personality etc. ask yourself - Do you even know her? Have you ever asked her how she feels, how hard she has worked to get where she is, what her life experience is?
If you are building your confidence - or ANYTHING - on someone else’s failure or demise, whatever you are building is on shaky ground at best.
Let’s focus more on how we can support each other, build each other up, and promote each other. If we feel uncomfortable, unconfident, unsure - and that other woman seems to have it ALL and seems unshakable - chances are she has worked her ass off for that confidence, and she didn’t earn it by stepping on the backs and hearts of other women.
Why do we need a nemesis to succeed? Why do we need an enemy to feel empowered?
Let’s ask ourselves how we can contribute to another’s success, rather than demise.
Let’s stop kissing and fucking each other’s boyfriends, fiancés and husbands. Let’s stop asking for men’s numbers when we know they’re in relationships. Let’s stop treating men in positions of power like gods. Let’s stop flirting with in men in relationships. Let’s stop kissing men with…
Photo: 'hey ladies - this perv is on the loose. if you see him, knee him in the groin, and scream to everyone on the train that he is a perverted pervert.'
something like that happened to me also... i swear if it happens again i will knee the pervert sooo hard to the testicles(if he has any) he will bend over in pains for 15 minutes!!!!
I have had things like this happen to me on the train - one time, a guy just caressed my hand as he walked past. It sounds harmless, but I felt so completely violated and angry, and it wasn’t until the train doors closed and he was gone that the rage really hit. And it was too late to humiliate him.
I’m not sure what the answer is - I’ve heard public humiliation is the way to go, but the insidious thing about attacks like this is that they take you off guard, and before you can react, it’s over, then you feel like a douche for not “handling it right.”