“Whew, I got out just in time….that time it was too close for comfort!!! Damn, I lost most of my clients tho! gotta move again, I guess. mom (I mean Lola..”.whatever I want, I get”, is my motto.)”—my awesome mom, in response to this news about her neighborhood brothel
showed up late to the big sales and marketing meeting. walking late into a full room watching the powerpoint presentation i think makes me look interesting/more important. hm, that lady has red hair too, hers is frizzy. what? how did i get crumbs on my shirt? oh, the pretzel bites. cross legs, bored already after 3 seconds, why am i here? i love my new sandals. the bottoms are like saltwater sandals. were those just a NW thing? applause for NAR!? what’s NAR? oh, regional account rep. whatevs. oooh, a map. i HAVE to remember that the four courners goes like this from CA: arizona to new mexico up to colorado back to utah. this lady keeps coughing. from travel. swine flu probably. can germs pass through a mic? price points. i like that teal color, i need more of that in my wardrobe. revenue shift to digital music. that one guy is nodding his head to demonstrate that he both “gets it” and that he “agrees with it”. that other guy is looking at his phone. probably looking at pics of his kid. the one he was parading around work. why do people do that? she is 2. i guess they like getting puffed up with the “omygodshessoadorables”. isn’t it kind of torture for the kid and the workers? everyone except the parents. this is a “very exciting” pie chart. pie. i don’t NOT like pie, it just has a tendency to get soggy, i think. i prefer candy. some jaggoff has to ask a question. always one. wait, now ANOTHER. i’m taking notes on this adorable notebook they gave us for free. taking notes makes me look interested and important. why did that lady just say hi to me? she never says hi to me. she decided she likes me now? ooooh, THAT’S what “OTA” stands for. never cared to ask, but now i know. commercials that haunt me. my buddy. shasta. monchichi. cal worthington. she’s coughing again. everyone is reaching for the candy in the bowls in the middle of the tables. crackle crackle. that temp girl is checking her phone “where’s that party tonight?” ”when you think about those numbers, you can see how important…variable prices…” lunch break so everyone can line up for sandwiches and eat like they’ve never been fed before. because it’s free. i hate it when the presenter says something that isn’t even MILDLY amusing but in this dry atmosphere, it’s suddenly HILARIOUS to everyone, and they laugh like this is the best stand up they’ve seen since dave chappelle. one p or two? my nail polish is chipping. i have one of those remover pads in my purse, what if i started taking off my nail polish in this room right now? hahahaha…that would be hilarious. squeaky leather folding chairs. people are moving and fidgeting it kind of sounds like farting. wouldn’t it be hilarious if people WERE farting? and no one reacted? like it was totally normal to do that in a room full of people watching a powerpoint presentation? a lot of people here could go on the biggest loser. guess what? the head honcho guy says we “win the award for best questions!” my ears are bleeding. and yes, he SERIOUSLY just wrapped up by saying “we are what we are at the end of the day”. third musical video montage of the meeting. including flash of all of our pictures. haha. there’s me. i gave them my headshot.
“this week we’re in Las Vegas, Nevada which is a town that LOVES to celebrate life…”—is THAT what it loves to celebrate Eduardo Xol of Extreme Homemakeover Home Edition? Or is that the only spin the producers could come up with for “sin city”? And does this mean that loving sin = celebrating life?